We need to talk about Kevin is a difficult and unsettling movie. We are asked to believe that an apparently educated and successful couple of parents seemed to fail to realize and address that their child was profoundly disturbed. Moreover, we are asked to believe that one of the parents, the mother, after all did know that something was wrong with her son, but somehow did not seem to address it. 
Perhaps some of the movie’s unbelievability stems from the director’s choices. Perhaps a less educated and successful family would be more prone to fail to seek for help… Nonetheless, in the world, almost everything is possible. For example, the mother could well have taken her child’s behavior as a personal attack to herself instead of realizing that her son was deeply disturbed and needed professional help.
Anyway, the movie breaks two expectations. The first, to expect that we all feel the same, even if some of us may need a bit more of reasoning to understand other people’s perspective. This movie shows a child who does not seem to empathize with any feelings of his mother, of the rest of the family and world.
The second, to expect that a parent’s love for the child should be blind and should survive somehow whatever the child does. The movie is sharp at showing us that such love is not healthy and may damage “Kevin” and all those who did not talk about Kevin. It alert us for that fact that love and acceptance are not enough when we are dealing with others.

A lot of lessons to be learned…

We need to talk about Kevin is a difficult and unsettling movie. We are asked to believe that an apparently educated and successful couple of parents seemed to fail to realize and address that their child was profoundly disturbed. Moreover, we are asked to believe that one of the parents, the mother, after all did know that something was wrong with her son, but somehow did not seem to address it.

Perhaps some of the movie’s unbelievability stems from the director’s choices. Perhaps a less educated and successful family would be more prone to fail to seek for help… Nonetheless, in the world, almost everything is possible. For example, the mother could well have taken her child’s behavior as a personal attack to herself instead of realizing that her son was deeply disturbed and needed professional help.

Anyway, the movie breaks two expectations. The first, to expect that we all feel the same, even if some of us may need a bit more of reasoning to understand other people’s perspective. This movie shows a child who does not seem to empathize with any feelings of his mother, of the rest of the family and world.

The second, to expect that a parent’s love for the child should be blind and should survive somehow whatever the child does. The movie is sharp at showing us that such love is not healthy and may damage “Kevin” and all those who did not talk about Kevin. It alert us for that fact that love and acceptance are not enough when we are dealing with others.

A lot of lessons to be learned…

Certified Copy is an interesting movie for varied reasons. Maybe the most relevant reason to me relates to the nature of a romantic relationship. 

Although oddly set, the movie revolves around love: the lack of his love for her, and her insistence that he should love her. This dynamics may seem extremely familiar, given that most likely we all have performed either of the roles at some point in our lives  

Why did he stop loving her? Or perhaps, when did he stop loving her the way she wanted? Maybe he never loved her. Her complaints regarding his faulty love seem to date back to their wedding day. 
He shows the comfort of those who have seen the end long time ago and have recognized that it is not worth to fight any longer. A comfort that is perhaps only threatened by her attempts to manipulate him and to make him feel guilty; thus a comfort that may become almost eternal once he gains the distance he surely longs for.

Why did she insist? Why doesn’t  she move on? Why doesn’t she stop loving him? It surely the answers may have to do more with her personality than with love per se. Her effort for things to work a certain way has the strength of many defense mechanisms of the ego. Her persistence resembles the persistence of an addictive vice. 


Love and its toes.

Certified Copy is an interesting movie for varied reasons. Maybe the most relevant reason to me relates to the nature of a romantic relationship.

Although oddly set, the movie revolves around love: the lack of his love for her, and her insistence that he should love her. This dynamics may seem extremely familiar, given that most likely we all have performed either of the roles at some point in our lives

Why did he stop loving her? Or perhaps, when did he stop loving her the way she wanted? Maybe he never loved her. Her complaints regarding his faulty love seem to date back to their wedding day. He shows the comfort of those who have seen the end long time ago and have recognized that it is not worth to fight any longer. A comfort that is perhaps only threatened by her attempts to manipulate him and to make him feel guilty; thus a comfort that may become almost eternal once he gains the distance he surely longs for.

Why did she insist? Why doesn’t she move on? Why doesn’t she stop loving him? It surely the answers may have to do more with her personality than with love per se. Her effort for things to work a certain way has the strength of many defense mechanisms of the ego. Her persistence resembles the persistence of an addictive vice.


Love and its toes.